


I will carry all your pain

by fear_her_blurryface



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 01:16:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8267399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fear_her_blurryface/pseuds/fear_her_blurryface
Summary: Josh lost his connection to his beloved drums because he have to safe somebody.....





	

That all started slowly. At first he hardly noticed it. Put it on the tour stress. Everything was good as long as he was playing his drums. It was his safe haven, his therapy, his way of communicating with himself. At the shows, it was his bulwark against the sea from fans, behind which he felt safe.  
Like every day, he spent hours playing drums, but something was wrong. The connection to his beloved instrument was disturbed. That worried him. But no one else hear it. Not even Tyler.  
Josh sat on the training wheel and drummed thought-lost with his drumsticks on the steering wheel, while he drove a few miles. When he lay down on the couch to further investigate the whole thing, he did not really come any further and decided to just do it with a bad day.  
At the same moment he remembered that he had not to have a bad day, because Tyler was the tormented of them. He was haunted by Blurryface, and Josh was the loyal friend who supported him and carried everything with him. This distribution of roles had just developed, and now he was trapped in it. It was simply not foreseen that the strong, always smiling Josh 'would also be glad about the concession that he had his dark moments, too. He sighed, turned on his back and stared at the ceiling. Then he closed his eyes and tried to think of nothing.  
He had to fall asleep, as he was suddenly startled by Tyler's voice: "Hey Josh, you're still sleeping on our performance." He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "How long have we been?" "Half an hour," Tyler said and looked amused at Josh. He raised an eyebrow and followed his friend into the dressing room.  
Although Josh had drink a Red Bull, he could not completely shake off his fatigue. During the concert, he perceived again the disharmony between him and his percussion, which was quite a challenge to him. It was almost as if his drums would fight against him. He was glad when the performance comes to an end. What was wrong with him? That evening he retired early to the hotel room and hoped to end this unhappy day by go sleeping early. He also fell asleep exhausted, only to find himself in a nightmare.

He ran through endless dark corridors. He was looking for something. He knew he had very little time to find it. For he was persecuted. From something unspeakable. From something unimaginable cruel. He could hear it, the rumbling, scratching of claws on concrete. He could smell it, the smell of blood and drool. And he ran and ran. The moment he felt the cold breath of the creature in his neck, he drove with a scream from his sleep.

He sat heavily breathing in the bed and tried to orient himself. His heart beats wild in his chest and his hands trembled violently. The night light, which he had started, dipped the hotel room into a warm light, and he slowly returned to reality. When he heard a knock at his door, he was still frightened. "Josh? Josh, it’s me, Tyler. Is everything okay with you? I heard a scream "he heard his friend say. He climbed stiffly out of the bed and went to the door to open it a gap. Tyler's face looked worried. Before his friend could ask more questions, he said, "It's all good Ty, I just had a nightmare," and waved off. "Sorry if I woke you up". Tyler raised an eyebrow. "Would you like me to keep you company?" Josh shook his head slowly "No thanks Ty. I get along. Lie down again, you need your sleep." Josh closed the door and walked back to bed. He lay awake and stared at the ceiling as Tyler's footsteps faded in the hallway.  
If he was honest, he would have needed society. But he knew how fragile Tyler was and if he had told him about the dream, Blurryface would have seen this as a welcome opportunity to tell Tyler to be the reason for Josh's nightmare. He sighed. He loved Tyler with all his heart and he did not want him to suffer because of him. At such moments, his drums had always been his redemption. He could play everything off his soul. He had to think of yesterday. Fear took over him as he thought of it. What if it did not work anymore? When his drums were tired of carrying all his dark thoughts with him? No, that could not be, that could not be ... Tears began to descend his cheeks and he let out a whimper. Subconsciously, he had rolled up into a ball and clutched his head pillow, hiding his face in it and as the fabric slowly soaking his tears.  
His alarm clock made him start up in the morning. He felt as if he had been wheezed. Not a good thing for a day of interviews. He moaned softly, and began to get ready. Tyler was waiting for him at the hotel lobby. Josh forced a smile in his face, but could see from Tyler's expression that it was not very convincing. "Hey Jishwa, you know you can talk about anything with me," Tyler said. Josh just nodded. "I do not want to force you, but I see that something is wrong with you." His friend just shrugged and replied neutrally, " I have no clue. I do not know what's going on. Maybe it's just a hanger. Nothing you have to worry about "" I'll do, Jish. You're my best friend and I want you to be fine "  
The interviews drew. Josh had the impression that no matter who interviewed her, it were always the same questions. While Tyler tell a new version of how they had met, - this time it was with a space travel program of the NASA - Josh fought inside against the urge to simply run out of the room. He wanted to be alone. Only he and his drums. Therefore, he was more than happy when they were on their way to the next concert hall, where everything was ready for the sound check. As he sat in front of his drums, he gently stroked the drums and basins. "Please do not let me down" he whispered to his instrument. Carefully he began to play. Everything was good. Within a short time he was one with his drums again and was infinitely happy about it. Even during the concert, everything went well and he felt increasingly like himself again. Facilitated, he went to bed in the evening, only to find himself in another nightmare.

He was back in a corridor. The air was cold and smelling, the walls were damp and there was rubbish on the floor. A lonely light bulb flickered from the ceiling. Except for the constant dripping of water was nothing to be heard. Slowly and quietly, Josh went on. In any case, he wanted to prevent him from being drawn to IT. And that IT was here, he had no doubt. But he had to find something, something important. And again he was sure that there was not much time left. The corridor began to change. Doors began to emerge in the walls. All were open. Either only one slit or completely. The rooms behind it were just as down as the corridor itself. A room looked like a deserted hospital room from the 50's. Surgical cutlery lay everywhere on the dirty floor. An electric stool stood in the middle of the room and rustled to the ground. The bed was in no better condition. The mattress lay on the floor and showed brown spots. Now Josh noticed the shackles for arms and legs at the bedstead. Cold ran down his spine. He run on. Another room looked like a bedroom from Victorian England, the next like an office of a stock market speculator of the 30's. It was a smorgasbord of different styles and epochs. When he saw another room, his breath stopped. On the door which was just leaned, stood his name in colorful wooden letters. 'That cannot be,' he thought. He opened the door and stood in his old nursery. Everything was right down to the last detail. But there was a distinctive difference: the room had not come down like everyone else. No dust, no mold, no decay. The lamp on the ceiling exhaled a soft light. A shouting cry ripped him out of his thoughts and the subsequent deep rumbling, made him freeze the blood in his veins. A moment later, he jumped up in his bed when his alarm clock brought him back to the reality of a new morning.

He slapped his hands in front of his face and tried to calm down. Why did he have these creepy dreams? Who had shouted like that? Why was there his old nursery? What creature lived there? Was he losing his mind? When he met Tyler at breakfast, he looked worried at him again and said, "Josh, you look terrible. As if you had seen a ghost. "His friend looked at him with tired eyes, and replied," Yeah, something like this. "Tyler raised an eyebrow," Uh, please explain this to me. ""I will, as soon as I have an explanation to myself," Josh replied and changed the subject. When he was sitting in his practice room again in the next concert hall, playing on his drums, he did not feel quite there. The connection that existed between him and his instrument could not quite connect to him. This was not a good sign. But what does it mean? Resigned, he dropped the drumsticks and sighed. He decided to take a walk through the park, next to the concert hall.  
As he stepped into the sunny autumn afternoon, he was delighted by the delicate warmth of the sun, breathing in the cool air. The walk cleared his nebulous thoughts and he felt himself again. When he was just thinking about going back to the hall, he met Darren, his colleagues from the crew. "Hey Jish, you probably were for a walk, too?" "Yes, it's a beautiful autumn day," he smiled, hugging Darren. Both decided to go back together. Darren said, "Jish, can I ask you something?" He looked at him in surprise and nodded, "Sure, what do you want to know?" "Well .... It's because of Tyler. "His heart sank." Um, so if it's about Tyler, you might ask Tyler and not me," he said. "Excuse me, Josh," his colleague said, "I may have expressed myself unhappy. What I really wanted to say is that Tyler is worried about you, Josh. He is really desperate because you do not want to talk to him. And not just him, it's noticeable that you have something to worry about. "Josh raised an eyebrow and sighed. "Darren, I'm not talking to Tyler or anyone else because I do not know what's going on with me. And I told him this morning. But if it calms you, I can talk to him again. "" Josh, I hope you know that you can talk with me at any time, "said his companion. The drummer nodded.  
When he was back in the hall, he started looking for Tyler. He found him sitting in the changing room on the couch where he was busy with his mobile phone. Josh sat down beside him on the couch and turned to him. "Ty, could we talk briefly?" His friend put away the mobile phone and looked at him expectantly. "I just want to assure you that you really do not have to worry about me. Ty, my condition is not on you. And as I told you this morning, I cannot explain to myself what is going on. "Tyler looked sad. "That may be, but why do you not let me help you? The other day when you had the nightmare, you sent me away, like a stupid schoolgirl. It really hit me. "" Ty I'm sorry if I hurt you. But I was so messed up at the moment that I really had to get to grips with myself first. "Tyler fell around Josh's neck and pressed him tightly. "Josh, I do not want to lose you. I feel like you're getting away from me and I do not know what I can do about it. "Josh stroked his hair and whispered in his ear," You're not losing me, Ty. You know you are the most important person for me "  
When Josh wanted to retire to his hotel room that night, he could not stop his friend from bothering with him. "Tyler, I beg you," he said to him as he pushed him out of his room again, "it's all right. I promise to get you if things get bad, okay? "His friend nodded, wished Josh a good night, and then disappeared into his own room. Just as Josh promised Tyler to get him, he knew deep inside that he would break this promise. He wanted to keep him out of this. If his friend was already so desperate, what would he do if Josh explained to him the full extent that he had not even known before by himself? No, he had to settle this. A new dimension of the scale followed already the following night and was proof that Josh's decision to keep Tyler out there was exactly right.

He woke up in his nursery. He opened the door a little and peered carefully into the corridor. Everything was quiet - for now. Carefully, he slipped into the corridor. Josh tried to remember the direction from which this terrible scream had come last night. He was sure now that he had to find this someone who was so terribly afflicted. After a while, the corridor turned right and ended shortly afterwards in a dead end. There was a heavy iron door. It also showed clear signs of deterioration due rust and flaking varnish, but it seemed otherwise very stable. Josh put his ear to the door and listened. Silence. Only the constant dripping of water was heard from the corridor. As he tried to pull the door, he heard a frightened whimper in the room behind it. Now he was sure that he was right here, that he would find what he has to find here. Josh tore more violently at the door, which began to give way after some attempts. With a groaning squeal, he pulled the door open so far that he could slip through it. The room was dimly lit, and on the walls of roughly hewn stone water ran down. Josh took his gaze to find the one who whimpering he had heard. When he heard the rattling of chains, he turned in the direction that led into a dark corner of the room. As he move to the corner, he could hear the prisoner's panic breathing. "Do not worry," Josh said softly, "I'm not doing anything to you. I want to help you.” The rattling of chains was heard again and a trembling voice pleaded:" Do not hurt, please do not hurt.” "He realized with horror that the voice belonged to a child. "I do not hurt you, I promise," Josh replied, taking a burning candle from the table to light up the corner. Slowly, the outlines of a small figure were visible, which pressed anxiously against the wall of the room like an animal. The child held his hands protectively against his face. At his wrists were fixed heavy iron handcuffs, which was connected to a heavy chain anchored in the wall. His wrists were bloody and his arms and legs were littered with wounds. Josh knelt down and gently stroked the child's hair. At first, it flinch away, but when he realized that the stranger really did not do anything to him, he relaxed and took his hands down slowly. When Josh saw the child's face, his heart almost stopped. This tormented little creature he saw was himself ... with about 6 years. "What's your name?" He asked hoarsely. "Joshie," the boy replied shyly. That was too much. Josh’s eyes start to filling with tears and he began to cry. "Do not cry" jerked Joshie and reached for the young man's hand. He looked at him with his big wide eyes and Josh wanted nothing more than to hug his younger self tight, which he cautiously did. At the moment he hugged the little body, a quake shook the whole room. Dust trickled from the ceiling and the walls groaned. Joshie clung to him anxiously and buried his face in his chest. Then they heard the rumbling. Loud and angry. And it came closer. Quick closer. The door flew open and IT stood in the room. Joshie began to scream. The creature was over 6.5 feet tall and seemed to be covered with long black spines. Big red eyes glowed almond-shaped in his head and where was presumably the mouth, were protruding several fangs from the sea of spines. His claws were messy and had a considerable length. What still highlighted his menacing effect, was that his outlines were not quite clear, as if they were constantly blurring. Again there was a deep, furious rumbling to be heard, and IT moved toward them. Joshie clung to Josh with all his strength and whimpered desperately. Like from nothing exploded a cutting voice in Josh's head. It felt like it was cutting his whole mind into strips. "YOU OR HE" Josh looked at IT with disgust. "What are you just for a piece of shit to hurt a child?" IT raised his arm and Josh had just enough time to lift his left arm for defense before unimaginable pain exploded there and almost robbed him. He jerked painfully in his hotel room, and was horrified to find deep red scratches on his left arm.  
"What ..." he stammered. How could that be? He could still feel the pain, though not so much. It was 5 o'clock in the morning and in half an hour his alarm clock would ring. So he decided to get up and take a shower. The scratches pulsed under the running water but after he had dried himself, Josh found they were paler. Nevertheless, he would probably have to wear a long-sleeved shirt today, as otherwise he would be aked questions to which he had no answer. He looked at his face in the mirror, which looked tired toward him. Maybe he should go to the fresh air. He put on a jacket and started off. A few yards from the hotel, he sat down on a bench in a small park and watched the sunrise. He breathed the cool air and sighed. His thoughts wandered back to the events of last night. What does all this mean? It could not be a dream. You did not wake up with wounds of dreams, right? And what about Joshie? Why was he chained in this dungeon and tormented by IT? What was this creature? He felt tears in his eyes as he remembered his younger one, who had looked at him with horror as he entered the door. "Oh God" he groaned and buried his face in his hands.  
As he made his way back to the hotel to meet Tyler for breakfast, he tried to make a relaxed impression on his friend. He was not sure if he was successful, but Tyler did not mind. As he sat in his exercise room in front of his drums, he hoped to release something from his confusion by playing. Already after the first beats he realized that it did not work. Quite the opposite: He felt his drums resist him. It took him immense effort to play against this resistance. The scratches on his arm hurting him too. This would be a hard time at the concert tonight. He put his drumsticks aside, hands trembling. He drove a while on the training wheel and then decided to take a walk around the concert hall. On the way to the outside he met Tyler. "Hey Josh, can I go with you?" The drummer nodded and both left the hall. They walk quietly together for a while until they sat down on a bench on a playground. Children raged across the square and their bright laughter was blowing through the air. Josh looked at them and Tyler saw a painful expression on his friend's face. "Josh ..." he said, touching his friend's left arm. He pulled away, which irritated Tyler very much. "Josh, what's the matter for God's sake? Why are you thrown away? "" Sorry, "he answered." It was just a reflex, somehow." "Then this is a new reflex from you," continued Tyler. "Can be," he answered. Tyler had enough. "Josh, if I've done anything to you, please tell me. For some reason you avoid me and I just do not understand why. "Now his friend looked into his face and he saw that he had tears in his eyes." You didn’t do anything to me Tyler. You have done nothing wrong. It has nothing to do with you, I swear to you. "" But what is it, Josh? "" I cannot explain. I cannot. It's all just wrong, somehow "" But ... "Tyler wanted to counter but Josh jumped up and left Tyler alone on the bench.  
Tyler was amazed that Josh wears his skeleton hoodie during the whole concert, even though the sweat was running down on him. When he wanted to talk to him in the dressing room and waited for him to get out of the shower, he realized that Josh wasn’t in the shower. As Darren put his head through the door, the singer asked, "Did you see Josh?" "He's back in the hotel. He didn’t tell you? "Tyler's expression was Darren's answer, and he hurried to pull his head out of the dressing room.  
Josh sat on his bed and water dripped from his hair on the sheets. In his mind, he heard Tyler say, 'Oh, Josh, you're dripping again. How often do I have to tell you that you should dry yourself? 'He smiled dully and fell down on the bed. Just before he finally slipped into sleep, he hear a soft knocking on his door....

He found himself in the dungeon again. "You're back!" He heard Joshie call out of his corner. Josh joined him immediately and took his younger self in his arms. ”What’s your name?” the little boy asked. "I'm Josh," the drummer replied, stroking Joshie's hair. "You're named like me," he whispered. Josh smiled. "Do you like to be my big brother?" Joshie asked. "With the greatest pleasure," he answered. At that moment, the door flew open and IT stood in the room. His roar reverberated from the walls. Josh got up and pushed the boy behind him. The creature's laughter exploded in his head. "YOU OR HE" he heard the voice cut through his thoughts again. "Let him go," Josh demanded. "You can do with me what you want, but let Joshie go. "DO YOU BELIEVE, YOU ARE IN THE POSITION FOR REQUESTS?"IT sneered. "I MAKE WITH YOU WHAT I WANT, ANYWAY" IT quickly raised his claws and slit Josh across his chest. His shirt hung in rags and blood began to run from the wounds. He jerked up briefly, then bite his teeth together to suppress a scream. He wouldn’t give a favor to the creature. Joshie whimpered from behind him. Suddenly, he hear the rattling of iron falling to the ground. Josh followed reflexively the sound and saw the handcuffs of Joshie who were lying on the floor, now. "GO, BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND" Joshie looked at the drummer anxiously. "Joshie in the corridor is a room, at the door are colorful wooden letters. You will like it, I promise you. Wait for me there, did you? "IT let the heavy iron door swing open, but when the boy was on his high he was giving him a blow with his claw. Joshie whined in pain and ran faster through the door. "DON’T FORGET ME TOO FAST," the creature mocked. "You bitch," Josh smirked, and he wanted to throw himself at IT, but instead he was hurled against the wall with full force. He felt his bones groan as he hit on the ground. As he tried to get up to start a new attack, something pressed his neck and held him in place. A heavy iron collar lay around his neck and was anchored in the wall. "WELL, I GUESS, SOMEBODY CAN’T WAIT, START TO PLAY", the voice of the creature boomed in his head. The heavy iron door was shut with a crashing, and soon after, there were only cries to be heard that slowly faltering in the corridor.

Slowly, Josh crawled out of his sleep and regretted it at the same moment as his body screamed in pain. He dragged himself into the bathroom. As he looked down at himself, his breath stopped. His body was full of bruises and deep scratches. Josh groaned and pushed himself under the shower and let the hot water run over his body. Then he felt better. He put on a hoodie and black jeans and trotted for breakfast. Neither of his fellows could be seen, nor even Tyler. Josh sat down with his coffee in a corner. He looked thoughtfully out of the window when suddenly someone put a plate of scrambled eggs with bacon and toast in front of him. Josh looked up. "You look like you need something between your teeth." Darren looked at him kindly. "Umm and good morning I do not say this time, because I can see you don’t have a good morning". Then he sat down next to Josh and began to eat his food. "Thank you" Josh muttered and reached for the fork.  
Darren's company feels good. He didn’t felt forced to explain his state in any way. This was different with Tyler. The fragile nature of his friend always caused him to choose his words carefully, not to make him even more uncertain. He knew, that he was doing the opposite actually with his current behavior, but what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t tell him the truth. Tyler was already busy with keeping Blurryface in place, so he couldn’t hardly get around the corner with his "nightly adventures", which could be clearly seen on his body the next day. Tyler would be scared to death.  
When he got into the car to take them to the next concert hall, he saw Tyler sitting in the front next to the driver's seat. When he saw Josh, he just nodded at him and then turned back to the driver. Josh climbed in the back and felt terrible. Throughout the trip Tyler did not say a word to him. When they arrived in the concert hall, Josh put his hand on Tyler's shoulder. He turned around, reflexively, looking coolly at his friend. "What's up?" He asked fluffily. "Tyler ..." Josh started, then his voice broke. He breathed deeply and continued, "I'm sorry if my Behave is so inexplicably for you." "Yes, you've said that several times," Tyler replied. "Listen Josh, I do not know what’s troubling you, but it will probably lead you to avoid me, like the devil the holy water. And I cannot cope that. I'm really ready to help you at any time, but you have to let me help you, too. "Josh nodded and looked at him with painful eyes. Softly, he said, "Ty, I cannot. I understand you but I cannot "tears began to run down his cheeks. "Why you can’t, damn?" Tyler's eyes got a damp shine. Josh looked down and a few tears dripped onto the asphalt. "Okay," Tyler said with desperate rage in his voice, "When you're ready, you know where to you find me. And until then, we should stay professional. "He turned away and rushed into the hall.  
Josh twitched into his exercise room and hoped to find some relief in his daily routine. He sat down at his drums, took the drumsticks, and his hands began to tremble. His whole body groaned with tension. It took him a while to settle down again. It was no surprise to him that he felt nothing but emptiness, where joy and passion had filled his heart before. He thought of Tyler's words '... we should stay professional'. He sighed, and continued to exercise in the conviction that it was all that left. The Show must go on.  
Josh was wearing a long-sleeved shirt again, some of the fans wonder about but otherwise the concert ran smoothly. Then the drummer again went straight to the hotel. It was close by the hall, so he walked. He inhaled the night air and looked to the stars that glittered from the sky. When he crawled tired into the bed after taking a shower, he found himself in the dungeon even before his head had touched his pillow properly.

The iron collar lay heavily around his neck. The chain rattled as Josh leaned against the cold, damp wall. IT was not there. He hoped that the creature would keep their agreement and leave Joshie alone. Perhaps he was doing something to him. Maybe he tormented both of them. Josh dropped his head, as far as the collar let him, as the door flew open and IT entered the room. “YOU THINK, I HAVE NO HONOR, WHAT? "Josh jumped in horror and pain as the voice cut unprepared through his mind and groaned. "WELL, YOU’RE RIGHT: IT MAKES MUCH MORE FUN TO PLAY WITH YOU THAN WITH THESE RUGRAT" "I want to see Joshie" the drummer hissed at the creature. A mocking laugh thundered painfully through his head. “WHEN WE'RE COMPLETED WITH OUR PLAYING” The creature was with him immediately and clasped his neck. IT lifted him up with ease, cutting off his breath. Josh thrashed around and tried to free himself. In doing so, he managed to kick the creature. Furious rumbling exploded in his head and he was hurled to the ground. Then he felt a fire of pain as IT repeatedly pulled his claws over his back. He shouted with pain and only listened to a sarcastic laugh. Again, he was lifted from his feet to land a few seconds later on a long wooden table, the splinter pierced mercilessly into his bleeding back. Josh howled and tears came into his eyes. "WELL, WHO IS CRYING HERE LIKE A LITTLE GIRL? WE HAVE JUST STARTED "Josh's eyes filled with horror as he saw IT take an iron rod. This began to vaporize at the top and then glow orange. Full of panic he tried to get down from the table, but had to realize that he couldn’t move an inch. There was no way to prepare for the pain when the glowing iron touched him. He shouted as his vocal chords were able to and had little time to get a new breath. Josh couldn’t say at the end, how many times IT had tormented him with the glowing stick. Half unconscious, he was forced back to full consciousness by cold water, and before he could properly realize what was going on, he felt how he was being drag over the ground on his necklace. He tried to get on his feet, which was difficult because they did not want to carry him properly. In the end, he was rudely raised and pushed against the wall of the corridor. Beside him, he blurred a door with something bright. It took him a while to realize that it was the door to his old nursery. "You cannot see him." Josh tried to nod under the steel grip of the creature. He saw Joshie sitting in his nursery on the carpet and playing with two cuddly toys. One was a tiger and the other was a kitten. "Yes, Josh, my big brother, I love you very much and I always want to stay by your side," said the kitten to the tiger. The tiger hugged the kitten and said, "Yeah Joshie I love you too and I always want to be here for you" Josh smiled and tears came into his eyes. "IF YOU WANT HIM SAFE, YOU WILL DO WHAT I WANT "IT boomed in his head. Josh nodded silently before his legs buckled and he finally lost consciousness.

It was another very painful morning for Josh. He could hardly move. Even the shower could not give him any real relief today. After he had dressed painfully, he could hardly wait to get his first coffee. It cost him a lot of effort to get into the cafeteria and he was very happy when he sat with his coffee in a corner. A short time later, Tyler also came. He looked at Josh with sad eyes. He hesitated for a while, then decided to sit down with his friend. Neither of them said a word. When Tyler saw that Josh's hands began to tremble, he gently took her in his, and gently stroked Josh's hand. Tears began to run down Josh's cheeks. When Tyler embraced him, he moaned with pain. He let him go and asked anxiously, "Are you in pain, Josh? Are you hurt? "The drummer shrank back and Tyler could see the fear in the eyes of his friend. "Josh, please." He looked down and muttered, "Everything okay. I've probably just dragged a muscle." Tyler looked at him sadly again and said, "As you mean." They sat in silence, before they drove to the next city.  
So one day followed the other. Josh was just busy getting enough power to perform the concerts and enduring the torture of the night mentally and physically. If Darren did not give him a plate of food repeatedly, he would forget to eat. As time went on, it was no longer to hide, that Josh was in no good condition. He was emaciated and had dark circles under his eyes. His wonderful smile had disappeared, and for months he was only seen in long-sleeved sweaters. As much as the clique worried about him, the craziest rumors grew, too. But the drummer did not care, he just had no energy left for it. When he crawled exhausted in his bed that night, he did not expect anything good.

Josh was woken by a gentle brushing through his hair. Instinctively, he shrank and opened his eyes. He lay on a carpet and looked into Joshie's smiling face. "I'm so glad you're back, Josh" "I'm also happy to see you again," he replied, pressing the boy to himself. A groan escaped him. "Josh, did you have owie?" Joshie asked, looking at him with his big wide eyes. He knew that he did not have to lie to him because the child had experienced what IT was able to do. "Yes," he replied, "but to hug you is worth the owie," and smiled at Joshie. This cuddled back to Josh and murmured into his chest, "IT cannot make you hurt anymore because of me" "I want you safe, Joshie" replied the drummer. The boy looked at him and said resolutely, "I'll save you Josh." He smiled mutely and answered, as he stroked Joshie's hair, "This is really the task of a big brother. So, my job "" No matter, I'll save you anyway, "Joshie said. The childish determination, ignoring all logic and reality, touched Josh and warmed his tortured soul. An inconceivably furious roar made an abrupt end to the conversation of the two. The whole room shook and plaster trickled from the ceiling. "Joshie, under the bed," Josh could just say before the door flew formally out of the hinges and IT rushed into the room. "HOW CAN YOU DARE! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS, ALL BOTH OF YOU!!! "The bed under the boy was hiding was hurled through the air and Joshie screamed with fear. IT was about to reach him when Josh attacked the creature and tried to take his view. "Joshie run!" He yelled, and the child immediately responded and fled into the corridor. The spikes with was IT equipped was drilled deep in Josh's flesh and with each attempt of the creature to shake him off, they pushed deeper, but the drummer did not let go. He wanted to give Joshie as much time as possible. IT raged and when Josh left the forces he was hurled hard against a drawer by the creature. He groaned in pain and gasped. IT was immediately with him, grabbed him by the neck and pressed him with dangling feet against the wall. “I SHOULD BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY" hissed IT. The creature's eyes began to shine, and Josh went through a piercing pain as his first rib broke. Then the second. The third. His screams were almost suffocated by the creature's grip around his neck, so that only a hoarse whimper could be heard. As he tried to kick it, his thigh bone broke and he could only hear the scornful laughter of the creature and feel the glaring pain. Just before the drummer thought to go mad with pain, he heard a familiar voice calling from afar: "Josh! Josh! , For God's sake wake up! "WAKE UP, DAMN!!!!"

He started up in bed and it took him a few seconds to realize that it was Tyler standing next to his bed. "What?" How? "He gasped, looking at his friend with eyes full of fear. Tyler looked at him with a pain-distorted face, and he had tears in his eyes: "Oh God, I thought you were not wake up anymore," said his friend in a trembling voice, "You screamed and thrashed around, it was awful. And you did not want to wake up. "Josh looked at him sadly and murmured," Sorry Ty, I did not want to scare you. "As he looked at his friend more closely, he noticed a scraping on his cheekbones. His eyes widened and he asked, "Did I hit you? Did I scratch your face? "Tyler looked down and murmured," It's not your fault. I wanted to calm you down and then one of your fists hit me. "" Oh God Ty, I'm sorry, I did not want that. I would never ... "" I know. But now this is about you. Josh, how long have you had these terrible dreams already? "His friend backed away and shook his head." Okay, do not think I cannot add one and one. I'm sure you've had these dreams for months that explains your strange behavior. And these dreams have more power than dreams should have, isn’t it? "Josh looked at him again with big eyes, but continued to not to anything." Josh, I can literally watch these dreams are destroy you. You get less and less every day, your light is getting smaller and smaller. I cannot see that anymore. This must stop. "Although Josh knew Tyler was right in with all, he tried to mitigate the matter and said," Ty is not so bad ... "Before Josh could react his friend grabbed the blanket and pulled it away. "Oh yes? But I see it differently. "Josh's sleep shirt hung in shreds and his whole body was covered with wounds. "Josh saw Tyler's rage and he knew he could do nothing more, so he replied," I wanted to protect you Ty, I did not want you to be hurt and because of that I did not want to involve you in any case. You have such a beautiful soul Ty, and she is so fragile. I did not want her to take more damage than Blurryface did. "Tears streamed down Josh's cheeks.  
Tyler sat next to him on the bed and put his arm around the shoulders of his friend: "And what about your soul Jishwa? Do you think your soul is not important to me? You always got me with Blurryface and I want to help you now. I know that what is tormenting you is too powerful for both of us both but I will try to find a solution. This must stop, it must stop destroying you. Jishwa you're not alone and we'll find a solution. "  
Josh nodded mutely. "Shall I stay with you the rest of the night, Jish?" Tyler asked. "No, I think it's over for this night," replied the drummer. "I'll leave you alone but reluctantly" "Its okay, Ty. Go to sleep. Tomorrow we can see if we can find anything on the Internet about it "Tyler went reluctantly and not quite convinced but he did not want to impose Josh his presence. "Okay Jish, but if anything went wrong, get me please." His friend nodded and Tyler left the room. Josh looked at the clock. It was half past two. He dropped back to bed and stared at the ceiling. What should be the solution? He had already tried weeks ago to find out something about his dreams on the Internet. But he had not come across anything useful. Only on old legends about body thieves or reports about people who were supposedly possessed by demons. And he did not really seem to fit into one of those categories. He had the impression that his dreams were a closed circuit.  
It was all in him, in his head. And if he was right, then it was also part of him. The thought made him sick. Josh rejected all forms of violence, even more, such atrocities as IT did. In his head everything starts to spin and he sat up again. He needed fresh air. He tormented himself from the bed and his legs could hardly hold him. But he wanted to get out, more than anything else. It was three o'clock in the morning when he left the hotel. Nearby there was a park he turned. Without a fixed goal, he walked around and hardly noticed that the paths he took were becoming increasingly unsafe, and he finally walked along a tramp path that ended in a hidden clearing. On this clearing stood a large old oak.  
Josh had increasingly problems with his breathing and his chest felt like a needle pillow. Cold sweat ran down his body and he was sure his legs would give up soon. With his last strength he reached the oak and sat down and leaned his back against the trunk. He was breathing heavily, and he becomes aware, that IT had probably hurt him more than he thought it was possible. And he knew, in his condition, he would not return to the hotel. He looked up to the glittering stars. A lukewarm wind swept the leaves and let some of them dance to the ground. Josh felt a strange kind of peace. It would come to an end. He would simply stay here and listen to the gentle rustling of the leaves and look at the sparkle of the stars.  
Josh's breathing became more and more severe. Slowly his gaze began to dim. His eyelids were heavy. But then he saw something that surprised him. Two gently shining shadows moved toward him. One was large and the other small. He heard a voice: "Quick, quick! We're almost there! "Josh smiled. The voice sounded like Joshie. But that could not be ... Josh's eyes closed.

A moment later he felt a touch. It was tender and soft and warm. He forced his eyes open again.  
A woman who was probably in the middle of 30s kneeled in front of him with a gently smile. Her night-blue velvet dress blew lightly in the wind. She had put her left hand on Josh's chest while her right hand held Joshie on his. "Can you help him? Please tell me you can help him "begged Joshie. The woman nodded slowly and stroked the boy's hair and smiled at him. Then she turned back to Josh. The drummer looked into the stranger's eyes and saw that they were glittering like the stars in the sky. Now he heard a gentle voice in his head: "Everything will be fine, Josh. Do not be afraid "He felt her warmth enveloped him and relaxed. His breathing became lighter, and his pain faded. Then he felt IT. Panic began to rise in him. He heard his rumbling and could feel his rage. "Do not be afraid, Josh. IT will not hurt you anymore "he heard the gentle voice say and he knew that he could trust her. Then everything went fast: IT tried to reach through his chest to the strange women, but she grabbed his claws and pulled it out of Josh. IT wanted to throw at her, but IT failed. She touched the creature at his chest and Josh can hear her say: “NO MORE!” Her soft shimmer became a glow, causing a terrible howl, from IT and the creature began to dissolve into nothingness. Joshie had clung to Josh and when he saw that his companion had destroyed it, he clapped his hands in joy. "Yay, Yes! You managed it! Thank you, thank you! "" Yes, thanks for everything, "whispered the drummer also. She smiled gently again, and Josh could hear her say in his head, "Joshie, it's time to go home." The boy sat down on Josh's lap and snuggled up to him. "Are you two ready?" Both nodded. The stranger put a hand on Joshie's back. Then it became glaringly bright.

The two of them found themselves on a summer meadow, whose flowers exhaled a pleasant scent. It was a nice sunny day and you could hear the birds singing. "Where are we?" Josh asked his younger one. "We're home," Joshie laughed at him, pointing up the meadow. There stood a small but fine wooden house, the white paint shone in the sun. The drummer smiled. "Tell me Joshie, who was the woman who saved us? Was that an angel? "Again the boy laughed" No. "" Jooshiiee "wailed Josh" tell me, please. Where did you meet her? "He began to tell:" I ran down the corridor all the way, quite long and suddenly she stood there and smiled at me. She promised to help us and she did so great, did not she? "" Yes, she did. And she did not tell you a name? "" No. She just said that if you kept your eyes open, you'll see them again. But if you overlook whole houses, it will probably not be "Joshie teased him. Then he jumped up and ran away in the direction of the house, laughing. Josh ran after him and shouted, laughing, "Well, wait till I get you"

Josh woke up. He had not slept so well for a long time. Nothing hurt. He felt himself again in balance and felt new strength. Although it was a cool autumn night, Josh had not frozen. He could still feel the warmth of the unknown helper. When he looked up, he saw the morning dawn, and as he made his way back to the hotel, he saw something flashing between the trees. He stepped closer and recognized the unknown women, who gently smiled at him before she disappeared in the morning mist. Half an hour later he entered the hotel lobby and was almost knocked over by Tyler, who embraced him impetuously. "Oh my God Josh, you're fine! Thank God you're fine and you're alive and you're fine! "" Whoa Ty, come down, it's all okay. I just took a walk. "" I'm getting almost mad with fear about you! And you know why. I tried to call you about a million times. "Josh hugged Tyler and whispered," Ty, it's over. I've been liberated tonight. "His friend was irritated: What? How? Josh grinned, "Come on, let's have breakfast. I'm hungry like a Tiger. Then I tell you everything.  
Tyler was infinitely happy to have his Josh again. While Josh reported, he listened in silence, and finally said, "Wow, that sounds really mind-boggling." "Yes, really spooky, what?" Josh let his tiger smile shone in his face that Tyler had missed so long. Tyler grinned back, "Well, that fits, Spooky Josh" and they both laughed.  
Life went on. Josh was again one with his beloved drums and his nights were peaceful. Tyler sometimes slept with him in his bed, when Blurryface haunted him. Josh often thought of his unknown savior but as much as he kept his eyes open, he did not find them. After a time, he began to believe that Joshie maybe have misunderstood something in all the excitement.  
Meanwhile her tour had reached Germany. Next to the concert hall was a sport field in a park. Josh decided to make a few rounds with his skateboard. Tyler was not very happy about it because he did not want Josh to hurt himself. "Hey Ty, same right for everyone. I'm also not happy when you start your climbing activities, "the drummer countered his skateboard under the arm and headed out. He drove comfortably there and everything was good until a sound distracted him, and he overlooked a stone that blocked the skateboard and he fell. His mobile phone flew high from his jacket pocket and luckily landed in the grass, but he on the asphalted path.  
While he was trying to get up, a hand suddenly reached out to him. He grabbed her and she was soft and warm. "I hope you did not hurt you," said a gentle female voice, while Josh was still busy picking up the dust from the clothes. "Thank you, I think I’m..." His sentence was stuck in his throat when he looked into the woman's face that had helped him. A gentle smile played around her mouth and her blue eyes sparkled like stars.  
"I'm relieved. Oh, here's your phone. I think it is okay "and held out his smartphone. He takes it without a word. Josh was confused. Why was the woman so familiar with him? He felt a deep sympathy for her and could not explain why. The stranger bow her head and pushed her hands into the pockets of her hoodie jacket, on which was printed the lettering of his band, he recognizes now. "Are you sure you're okay? You look confused, "she asked once more worried. The drummer asked carefully “Did you know me?” “Joshua William Dun, the drummer of Twenty One Pilots, in the case you had forgotten your name” she replied with a smile.  
Josh raised an eyebrow. "And what is your name?" "I am Patrizia and I guess I know why you confused. Is it, because I do not screech, grab you, push you in the bushes and bombard you with questions, while I tear your clothes from your body. Is it that? "He was speechless. Somehow he had actually thought of such a thing, but did not want to admit it. She could read it on his face expression as she continued, "Okay Josh, to make it clear: I have great respect for you and I didn’t want to do anything that could make you uncomfortable or hurt you. I would never touch you if it was not your explicit wish and I would never bother you with stupid questions. I respect you as a private person and as such you stand here in front of me. The only thing I care about is that you're fine. "She lifted his skateboard, pushed it into his hand and said," Drive carefully "and turned to go.  
Josh stood there, staring at her. He was still trying to figure out where he knew her. As she turned around again and smiled at him sadly, he get it. She was the unknown from his dream! He clipped his skateboard under his arm and ran after her. "Wait please," he called after her. She stopped. When he reached her, he said panting: "Excuse me, please. I'm usually not so rude. "" You do not have to apologize. There is no reason for that, "she said simply. "Can I ask you something?" Josh continued. "For sure".  
He ran nervously through his hair: "Phew, I do not know how to say it, without it sounds totally crazy." "Josh, nothing you say sounds blatant for me, okay?" She gave him courage. He nodded, took a deep breath and said, "I dreamed of you-and in the dream you freed me" he didn’t dared to say more and looked at Patrizia uncertainly.  
She just nodded and said, "Without Joshie I wouldn’t have been able to. If we had not met and he had brought me to you, I guess, it would not have gone so well. He is a brave little fellow and has the heart in the right place - like his big brother ". She looked at him with a warm smile. Josh was overwhelmed. "Thank you" he whispered and hugged her and pressed her to himself. "You're welcome," she whispered in his ear.  
"But how did you do that? How could you defeat IT? "He asked as he let go of her. Patrizia tilted her head and said, "Sometimes odd things just happen. And when they happen, you should not ask why. That would only destroy her spell. ""But this energy ..." he continued, but was interrupted by her: "Josh, I think you're clever enough to find out for yourself" She smiled and before she turned to go, "Watch out for you. I'll see you at the concert "and went away.  
Josh went back to the hall and when he met Tyler, he told him about his meeting. "And you're sure she was the one?" He asked. "Yes absolutely. What is not quite clear to me is, from where she had the energy to destroy IT. Tyler smiled at him and said, "Well, it's clear to me." Josh looked at him in surprise. "Really?" His friend nodded. "Jish, think. What made you want to save Joshie? And what made Joshie save you with the help of Patrizia? "" Oh, "the drummer exclaimed. "Do you really believe that love can be so strong?" "Jishwa I believe it was a very special kind of love. A selfless love” "Yes, I think you're right, it all makes sense." He paused for a while, then said, "Ty, could you do me a favor? "" Sure. What can I do for you? "" Would you sing "Whisper" for me today? So, instead of mine. "Tyler grinned "I will. Shall I say her name, or just something like: From Josh, for a special person? "The drummer blushed and said," I think your second proposal is better. I do not know how many Patrizias will be in the audience. "  
When Josh was with his drummer island in the crowd, and they had just finished "Lane Boy," Tyler said, "So, dear friends, Josh and I would like to say thank you very much to a special person, who helped my best friend.” Tyler began to sing "Whisper". Josh accompanied him discreetly on the drums and peered over the sea of fans. He knew that it was hopeless to find a single human being. He hoped that Patrizia might wait until the hall had emptied, but he was disappointed. He went to bed that night and cursed himself that he had missed the opportunity to ask Patrizia for her last name, to find her again in one of the social networks. Sad, he fall asleep.

He found himself lying on the flower meadow again and looked around. Joshie was nowhere to be seen. He got up and walked slowly up to the house on the slope. As he approached, he heard Joshie's voice shout, "Higher, Higher!" And his laughter sounded to him. When he had walked around the house, he saw him swinging on a swing. When the boy saw him, he jumped from the swing and ran joyfully towards him. "Josh, Josh, look who's there!" He grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the swing. Patrizia stood next to the tree to which the swing was attached and smiled warmly at him. Her hair and the night-blue velvet dress waved in the wind. "Hello Josh, nice to see you," she said. He smiled shyly, and said, "I'm also looking forward to seeing you." Joshie stood between them, looking from one to the other. Then he announced, "So I'll go play. Just standing around is boring "and rushing away. They both looked at him with a smile. When she looked back, the drummer said, "I wanted to ask you so much, and now my brain is as empty." She smiled again and her eyes twinkled. "Let's sit down." She sat down under the tree and tapped next to her, inviting him. Josh sat next to her. Both of them looked down into the valley for a while, where the wind passed softly through the leaves of the trees. He put his head on her shoulder and asked, "Is it okay?" "Yes," she said simply, putting her arm around his waist. "Were you at the concert yesterday?" "Yes. Thanks to you and Tyler for the song. It has touched me very much. " I had hoped you would stay after the concert. "" I did, "she said quietly. He raised his head and looked at her in surprise. "I gave Darren a note with my thanks to you, including my signature. I told him you'd know who he was from. "She smiled gently at him, stroking his hair. "Thank you," he said, putting his head back on her shoulder. "Nothing to thank" he heard her say before he fell into a gentle slumber and woke up the next day in his hotel bed.

As soon as he had finished, he went to look for Darren. He found him at breakfast. "Good morning, Darren," he said, whereupon his colleague only nodded, because he had his mouth full of scrambled eggs.  
"Could it be, that someone gave you a note for me yesterday?" He considered briefly, nodded again and pulled a note from his pocket. "Sorry, I forgot about yesterday." Josh picked up the note and went back with his own breakfast a few minutes later. He sat down next to Darren and began eating while he was working on his smartphone at the same time. Tyler came and greeted him. Darren greeted back, and from Josh came only a "mpf" because he had the mouth full of scrambled eggs, now. "Is everything all right with you, Jishwa?" Tyler asked and got a nod to answer. "Um, I gave Josh a note from yesterday, and since then he has left mentally," explained Darren. Tyler began to grin. "I have such an inkling about that."  
Shortly afterwards, Josh's face brightened, but he continued to tap on his mobile phone before he finally put it down and stared for it every few seconds. Tyler watched him amused. "I suppose you found her?" "Yes," his friend confessed, staring again at his cell phone. "Jish, relax, and eat in peace, please" The drummer saw that his friend was right and did as he was told. When they got together to the car, his cell phone buzzed. Josh pulled it out of his jacket and read, 'Good morning, Josh' He smiled and wrote back, Good morning Patrizia '


End file.
